But I can't sit here in silence for much longer.
Well, I can, we all could. God, I'd love to sit in silence and just let things happen around me. That'd be awesome.
But I'm incapable of that, so here's this.
This EU Referendum debate has been utterly fucking disgusting. From the bottom of my heart to the top of my dick, I have not found a single redeeming quality in it. And I'm so gross I just stuffed a dick into that last sentence when it probably didn't even need to be there.
Where does a dick deserve to go these days? A urinal is about all you can get away with without Tumblr setting upon you like a pack of rabid wolverines.
I just attacked Tumblr. In a private blog post. This makes me a rapist monster enemy number #1 shitlord. Yet even I think the EU Referendum debate has been disgusting.
The EU Referendum Debate, and I wish we could find a more succint name for that, has been a perfect example of when an extreme right wing ideology turns and eats itself. On the one hand you've got David Cameron, shiny suited PR cyber bullshitter. On the other, you've got Boris Johnson a big, dumb, overgrown elephant man with funny hair -
LOOK, HE FELL DOWN!
HE TACKLED A CHILD!
HE LOVES CAKE!
He's also a racist [http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-barack-obama-kenya-remarks-accused-dog-whistle-racism-john-mcdonnell-labour-a6996286.html and http://www.standard.co.uk/news/i-didnt-mean-to-be-racist-claims-boris-6648542.html], misogynist [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/society/11674257/Male-and-female-are-different-hardly-earth-shattering-news.html], bully [http://labourlist.org/2014/10/boris-johnsons-attempts-to-lock-out-workers-show-what-a-bully-he-is/] who is a lot more intelligent and calculating than he seems.
Both are dangerous right wing extremists, and they're both trying to sell you Brexit or Bremain (god I hate those names) on that merit. This has led to a lot of scaremongering and horror on both sides.
David Cameron says there's going to be World War 3 if we vote leave. Boris Johnson fell down, chased some girls around a Benny Hill sketch and then said that the EU would engulf us all (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/2016/03/16/boris-johnson-exclusive-there-is-only-one-way-to-get-the-change/). It's all utter bollocks.
I'm not here to tell you how to vote. Fuck no. You should weigh up the facts and the figures and decide what is best for you and your family, then vote for it. There are no wrong answers. I'm personally voting to remain in the EU, mostly for selfish reasons. One day I want to emigrate, and being in the EU will give me the best chance to do that. I also like that we currently have another layer of power above the Tories, and that they can't get away with as much hateful austerity bollocks because the EU is there to keep them in check. This is an anti-democratic point, but the Tories came to power on an anti-democratic platform (http://www.thecanary.co/2016/06/01/the-tory-election-fraud-scandal-reaches-fever-pitch-and-bbc-newsnight-attacks-corbyn-instead/) so I guess that's a push.
Either way, staying in the EU works for me. At the same time, I can see why people want to leave the EU. There are some good arguments against it. TTIP is a huge one. That should worry us all. It's also worryingly right wing. Almost as bad as the Tory extremists currently running this country.
Also, I'm a working man myself. That's probably why I haven't updated this blog in fucking ever. Between working full time for the NHS (one of our proud British institutions, which is something I've said before they paid my wages, honest), I'm also a semi-successful novelist (I wrote this [https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hair-Dog-Part-Gallaetha-Book-ebook/dp/B0099RG1OE?ie=UTF8&tag=bookl-21] it is easily the best thing ever written by human fingertips and you should buy it already, you fucks), and a sort of social person (as in I had a friend at one point and I'm sure they still exist). I know how hard it is to keep track of all the information about the EU referendum. Especially when so much of it is built on lies.
First off, the Sun wants you to vote leave. That alone should get plenty of folks crossing the remain mark tomorrow. I'm a Scouser, so I'm biased as fuck. But you can generally be one of the best human beings on the planet by taking whatever the Sun tells you to do, and then doing the precise opposite.
Second off, the EU doesn't control our laws like so many people claim. In actuality (https://fullfact.org/europe/uk-law-what-proportion-influenced-eu/) they seem to have a say, but we've been more often or not just left to do our own thing. For better or worse. The EU also helps to bring us many of the human rights we all enjoy today [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ptfmAY6M6aA]
Thirdly, immigration won't be affected. Even if you think immigration is a problem (it isn't, or at least it's not nearly as big of a problem as you probably think) leaving the EU won't change it. People can still immigrate here whether we're in the EU or not. Especially from places like Iraq and Syria because, fucking hell, they need to get out of those places. It's the 21st century, chum, accept it already. Stop blaming the EU for a global problem.
Fourthly, even if we do kick out all the immigrants (we won't, not that we'd want to anyway), we'll still have to put up with a lot of disgruntled EU ex-pats being sent back over here. From out retired people in Spain, to our hard-working, incredibly skilled expats who've landed awesome jobs overseas and will be none too happy about being deported back onto our shores because of a lobsided vote that they had no say in.
Fifthly, most of the people who want us to leave are foreigners themselves. The Daily Mail (http://leftfootforward.org/2015/10/daily-mails-tax-dodge-hypocricy-over-facebook-insult/), Rupert Murdoch (no link, self explanatory, it's Rupert Fucking Murdoch), the Daily Express (http://www.theguardian.com/media/2000/dec/24/pressandpublishing.dailyexpress). They don't pay UK taxes, therefore they have no right to demand a UK policy. As far as I'm concerned, they're basically foreign nationals who should keep their noses out of our business.
Sixthly, because I've been learning German for six months and I'll be fucked if I can't get a chance to use it at some point. (THIS IS A JOKE! THIS IS AN ACTUAL JOKE! CALM THE FUCK DOWN! THE GERMANS ARE NOT TRYING TO TAKE OVER! THIS IS A JOKE! I JUST WANT TO MOVE TO GERMANY AT SOME POINT! THIS IS A JOKE!)
Seventhly, because we do have problems in this country. Of course we do. But these problems aren't caused by EU bureaucrats, immigrants, or Germany. They're caused by the evil Tory bastards that we've (sort of) been electing for the past thirty years.
Yes, Tony Blair is a Tory bastard too. Look it up.
Here's the thing, I'm not trying to bully you into voting one way or another. If you believe that voting to leave will be the best thing for you and your family, and you've weighed up all the evidence, then you should vote to leave. Honestly. You have my full support on that one, not that you'd need it.
But I just don't want you to vote for something, something that's irreversible and permanent, on the strength of a few lies from the mouths of rich people.
Either way the sun will rise whether we vote to stay in the EU or not.
Well, maybe not. This is the UK after all. It'll probably rain.
But one way or another. The rain will come and we'll still all be alive. No matter whether we stay in the EU or not, we'll still have a lot of work to do. But we'll still find a way. We're the UK, for god's sake, we always find a way to survive.
I just don't want anyone to be misguided, or to be tricked into voting against their own values by a multi million pound foreign media that doesn't give a shit about you or your struggles.
I just hope people are making a decision based on actual evidence, and on what works for them. Not on some cult of personality, Murdoch fed bullshit.
Incidentally, I also hope you buy my book. Someone has to.